Is feeling guilty just a natural response to being mom?

My kids argue a lot with each other.  I know siblings fight.  Sometimes it really drives me nuts.  I think it upsets me more than them. If another person, a stranger or someone from their school talked to them the way they talk to each other, there would be consequences for sure. I have punished them.  Separated them (they like that).  Talked to them, trying to let them know that hurtful words are not not tolerated. even ignored them (doesn’t last long)  Nothing works.  As they get older it gets harder and they remember things the other said or did longer  I quite often argued with my siblings.  If I knew I was caught for wrong doing I was quick to rat them out to lessen my punishment.  But we still liked each other.  To this day we are the best of friends.

Where is the guilt you ask? Well when they argue, I dream of the future. A house without arguing kids. A life of travel and extra money lol.  It has been a long time since we went away with out the whole family.  Should I feel guilty because I want a shower without interruption? I do.  I feel guilty as soon as I start thinking of myself as anything other than “Mom”.  I am much more than a mom, I know. I love reality TV, I still like the music I listened to in my teens and enjoy a good book.  I am a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend.  I am a good neighbor, a volunteer and  more.  I also am a b$@ch when I need to be. None of these “labels” bring on the feeling of guilt like being mom.

I love my family and I usually embrace the chaos.  I just wish I was able to appreciate “me time” guilt free 🙂

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