Trying to keep a sibling relationship alive

As a child I never understood why my mother would get so upset when her brothers and sisters did not return her call.  I figured that she had all she needed with our family, my dad me and my sisters.  She quite often would look sad or come across as jealous when my aunt would spend more quality time with my grandparents.  My grandmother passed away many years after my grandfather and there was a lot of stress and anger in my moms family.  Who decided what, who got what and why.  It really got kind of crazy.  I felt bad for my mom.  I know how close she was to her parents and I know how she wishes for more time with them.

I find as my parents get older I think about my relationship with them and my siblings.  My relationship is pretty good with my parents and my kids adore them.  My relationship my my siblings is just isn’t what I would like it to be.  We all have our own lives and our own families but I want to hold on to the familiarness of my sisters.  We call each other and often have not much to say.  We will always be there for one another , but it is different.  My one sister has a lot of bitterness built up and has not seen my children in years.  I have tried many times to reach out to her with no success.  We have so much in common, but her anger is hard to break.  My other sister is busy with her family and her work.  When we finally get a chance to talk on the phone it feels rehearsed or out of necessity.  Always an agenda behind the phone calls.  I wish we were closer.  I wish we talked for hours.  I wish it was like it was when we were kids.  I feel I am always the one reaching out and the one being rejected.  I feel like I have become my mom.  The stress and heartache I feel towards my siblings is similar to what I remember my mom going through many years ago.  Does this mean my children will too grow apart?  My boys right now are best of friends.  Of course they all fight, but they also hang out and enjoy each others company sometimes.
With Easter approaching I long for the big extended family dinner.  The whole family together cooking a huge meal and watching some sporting event on TV.  All of the kids playing in the yard, while the adults share stories.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my immediate family and our time together.  I just realize in the big picture life is short and I would like to cherish every memory I can with everyone I love.  I hope my sister finds the time to join us this year for dinner.  If not, I guess there is always Christmas.


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