Manners and Social Media

You would think after two years of blogging I have seen or experienced almost everything. Yet I am still shocked when people lack common courtesy and plain old manners . Manners after all are something we all learn way back in preschool. Why is it when people get older they forget? Why is it when people are online and on social media they tend to be ruder than they would face to face? I know myself I have been accused of not being so nice online before. I actually had a few friends tell me they preferred me in real life than online. I chalk it up to quick responses and have actually tried to improve this. Yet on the other hand I have also been accused of over sharing. I get told by friends to keep things to myself, not share the secret to my success so to speak. Well, I am sorry but I really am a true believer of karma. I know what I do today and what I share today will come back and help me and pay off in the future. Canadian bloggers need to support each other and grow and learn from each other. We have a lot in common. 

Another thing I have learnt in my two years plus of blogging is drama sells. The more drama you have on a blog the more views you will get. It is the rubber neck syndrome. So I will avoid using names but I still feel I need to address the fact that lack of manners online is not necessary  If you are rude to me on a social media site I am going to stand my ground and stick up for myself. And further more, deleting your comment does not make me forget. An apology would be nice. After all I am a Canadian and we say sorry for way less. 

I am very thankful for my blog and being able to have a platform where I can vocalize my frustrations and my rants. Today while on social media I was trying to explain something to another blogger. Something I honestly consider basic for ny blogger. After explaining and trying to help this other blogger comments that I am carrying on and on and on. well honestly I was just trying to give her information. Then at the end of her last comment she says in all caps “DUH!!” Like I am stupid or something. 

mr rude

I pride myself on being an open book. I pride myself on being helpful to other bloggers. This comment was extremely upsetting and as much as I wanted to respond in a not so nice way I kept calm and said it was not really needed I was just trying to help. She has since edited her comment but my feelings are hurt. She has not apologized and really we are not in the same niche nor are we in the same blogging circles. However I still considered her a peer.  I will let it go. However I am posting here to remind people that , just because you are online does not excuse you being rude. Hiding behind a screen may make you feel like a queen or feel tough. But on the other side of the screen are real people with real feelings. We all make mistakes and we all have room to learn and grow. When you make a mistake, get up, brush yourself off and own it. Apologize and make it right. Unfortunately for this other blogger I may forgive but I do not forget. So next time if she asks for help instead of helping I am going to refer her to Google.

Next time you are about to respond to somebody in a mean or rude way online, be it on a blog or Facebook or elsewhere, please keep in mind they are real people. Would you say to their face what you are about to type?

Have you experienced people behaving badly online? I would love to hear about it .

Comments

  1. Well written Kim! I completely agree. It's so disappointing when people hide behind their online faces and feel that it's ok to be rude to others or put other people down. And there is NO excuse for using the expression "DUH" when someone is being more than courteous and kind in trying to explain something, out of pure kindness. I really do shake my head at some of the things I've witnessed online in regards to the interaction between people at times, and it's sad. There are those, like you, who go above and beyond and are always willing to help others and be of guidance, even though it's something you don't have to do, but you do out of kindness. I appreciate how tolerant you are in situations like this, and how you handle it with maturity and professionally. I respect you more than you know, and I wish others would believe in karma as well. I know I sure do!

  2. Dayna Wilson says:

    Aw, I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Some people just like to hide behind social media, the anonymity is like a shield that people use as an excuse to be brash and sometimes downright rude. I've had some really snotty experiences with people online that I don't think would ever happen in real life… just the other day, a former coworker actually updated her status to say to everyone who follows her that she's sick of me "spamming [her] wall with stupid s***." I update a lot… pretty much exclusively statuses and pictures of my son. So Mama Bear syndrome kicked right in. I don't think that anyone would ever have the nerve to tell me to shut up about my kid to my face. Needless to say, she's now unfriended. Anyway, I digress, keep your chin up. When I interacted with you briefly after winning the dvd recently, I found you really positive and friendly. Don't let the bad seeds getcha down 😉

  3. That is all sorts of rude on her part.

    What people need to remember is that the internet isn’t some inanimate object but is an extension of the world outside of the internet. And as such, the recipient of a message isn’t some equally inanimate object but is a real person.

    On a related note, there’s this meme/anecdote on the subject that talks about a class lesson on bullying. The teacher has each child take a piece of paper and crumple it, toss it on the ground, stomp, and say mean things – as if to “bully” the paper. Then the teacher has the student pick up the paper and try to flatten it out. The teacher notes that it doesn’t matter how much you press or do things nicely afterwards – the stomp marks and the wrinkles – the impact of your actions – remain. So it’s interesting that she edited the message as if it mattered and absolved her of any responsibility. The impression – the “wrinkles” – remain.

    If she keeps up with that rude behaviour, she should find herself very alone in the future with few, if anyone, wanting to help her. Not unless she changes.

  4. That's too bad that happened to you Kim. It is sad that some people think that they can hide behind their screens and feel they can say anything they want. Hugs!
    My recent post Low Fat Oatmeal Raisin and Chocolate Chip Muffins

  5. loucheryl says:

    I think people "bash" people a heck of a lot more on social media sites because it's easier than doing it straight to your face. It doesn't make it right but it happens a lot more when you can hide behind a computer. I could say the same thing about road rage. People act crazy because they think the car they are in protects them somehow. I try to be conscience before posting something negative on someone's blog, Twitter or Facebook page. One of my Facebook friends actually unfriended me because she didn't like that I wasn't responding fast enough to her messages. OK, if she felt better about herself by unfriending me then WHATEVER. I really don't have time for BS and try thinking of it that way. Some people will never be happy. You being happy is the best revenge.

  6. binabugged says:

    I don' t know if I would delete the rude comments, after all, it gives an insight into what type of person they are, and I think when I see a rude comment I make the decision for myself that the person is rude, and prob would try to avoid a person like them (I often put strangers on fb on ignore, just so I don't have to see their rude posts over and over again on fb pages I follow LOL)

    • I did not delete it. It was on Facebook and they chose to edit it after I replied. I think most people who read it quickly got a feel for this person and they did harm to them self by being so rude . I find i am unfriending and unfollowing more and more these days 🙁 I too rather not see it

  7. I caught that conversation and I have to say I am really shocked at the bloggers behaviour. Totally unsophisticated and unprofessional. I also disliked her tone of being above those "mommy" bloggers. Unbelievable. Good for you for keeping a cool head!
    My recent post From Nursery to Primary Giveaway Roundup (Plus Linky for All Giveaways)

  8. Teresa M. says:

    I am sorry that you had such a negative experience. I remember my parents teaching us manners and when I had children I did the same. I doubt they teach manners and social skills in school any longer. I have come across my fair share of rude people, young and old. I have empathy for people and I am lucky that I was able to teach my daughter a respect for everyone, regardless of race, colour etc. I remember once when she came home from dinner at a friend's she told me that she didn't like the meal but she ate it all up because she didn't want to make anyone feel badly. Do unto others…It it up to parents to teach their children respect and consideration. I believe in Karma…not to worry, you did well 🙂

  9. Well said. Sorry you ran into someone who was rude. People like that who ask for help then turn things around and hurt you are not worth the effort or the stress. Take a moment and hug those gingers you have and smile 🙂 That will definitely make you feel like a wonderful person. Cheers and Happy Easter.

  10. Sorry you had to deal with that!! I also am a huge believer in KARMA!! What goes around comes around!!

  11. candacederickx says:

    Kim, I was witness to this entire thread and my jaw was on the ground. Honestly, I have no idea where the hostility came from but it is clearly an issue on the other end that you have nothing to do with. Keep on keepin' on girlfriend, your efforts to share and help everyone is appreciated by many.
    My recent post Rice Krispie French Toast

  12. Manners are so important. You know me, I always say that. If you don’t have good manners nobody in any sphere or relationship will ever do anything for you or hire you or help you. They are just a basic building block for life. No excuse for rude!

  13. I just posted on my blog something semi-sorta similar to this. Respect and manners seem to go by the wayside sometimes, especially in the online world. Don't let this person bother you. It's obvious you've been made aware of their true colors.
    My recent post First Winners of April

  14. I caught that convo too and many other comments left by that blogger. her whole tone and overall attitude is negative and rude. shrug it off.
    My recent post Crunchy Classic Salad with Kraft Pourables #NewPourables

  15. Hi Kim – I echo what Candace said above. You were being so helpful, and I am not a very tech savvy person so I particularly appreciated the tips you were sharing. Julie
    My recent post My Kraft Pourables Review: Convenient, Tasty, and Low on Calories (#NewPourables)

  16. Sometimes it is hard to communicate what you REALLY meant to say when you are typing so fast. Common courtesy is so very important in what we do. You have always been very courteous to me and I appreciate that fact. Hope you have a better week 🙂
    My recent post The Healthy Shopper–The Coupon Book for Natural & Organic Products

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