So the family is off to the beach! Yay! There are certain vital items that must be included for ultimate fun time, besides swimsuits, of course. And yes, people have been known to forget those. They’re easy to spot; they’re the ones sitting in long pants and sneakers under a beach umbrella with the saddest smiles on earth plastered across their faces. Which leads to the first item:
1) THE BEACH UMBRELLA: As much as one might want to cultivate a suitable swarthy tan, and no matter how much sunscreen one slathers on, an umbrella is a necessity. Sitting under direct, glaring sunlight for hours at a time is not a good thing for the eyes, plus who really wants to look like a raccoon from tanning in sunglasses?
2) RADIO: Remember radios? They were those boxes with a speaker in them that existed before iPods. Being at a beach is a communal experience, not one for living in an earbud bubble. A note though; if the beach is crowded, adjust your volume accordingly. Not everyone agrees that Anthrax is the ultimate beach party band.
3) CHEAP PLASTIC SANDALS: Two reasons for these. One, that sun-baked sand is a lot hotter than it looks. The second reason? This is why the suggestion is for cheap sandals, because one or the other sandal will either drop out the beach bag, be kidnapped by a dog, or washed away in the ocean or lake. Always obey Murphy’s Law! Murphy spent a lot of time at beaches in his day.
4) SOFT FRISBEE: Sure the hard plastic kind flies a lot better. No doubt about it. However, as much fun as it might be to meet that nice couple on the blanket thirty feet away, they might not be so nice after a $120 pair of sunglasses are crushed into one of their faces by an errant throw.
5) FANNY PACK: Someone is going to look distinctly un-cool, but everyone can take turns. Trusting humanity is one thing; having the car keys or wallet stolen while everyone’s romping in the waves is another. No, tucking valuables into shoes is not an adequate defense. Bring seal-able plastic sandwich bags to put the valuables in before placing them in the fanny pack.
Surf’s up!
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