How To Help Child Victims Of Domestic Abuse

Nothing is more heart breaking than to witness a child who has been abused. As a caring human being you cannot help but wonder How To Help Child Victims Of Domestic Abuse. Whether you are a friend of a former victim, a teacher, a church leader or just neighbors with someone who has been abused, there are many things you can do to help build their self esteem and repair damage done by their abuser. Since abuse is typically at the hands of a parent, these thoughts are focused mostly on those types of recovery situations.

How to help


Provide a safe place to play and be themselves. If the victim is a family member or friend of your child, you can easily and safely offer a place for them to stay or come and play. Depending on age, this could be as simple as letting them spend an afternoon playing in your backyard with your kids and pets. For older kids this could be a trip to the mall to go shopping, a special dress up lunch or an evening out to watch the latest hot movie release.

Be understanding of their love for the abuser, and the potential for them to miss their abuser. This is especially common with children abused by their parents. The abuser may have also been the person who was the one there when they were sick, hurting or tired. While you don’t want to encourage them to be in an unsafe place, never speak poorly about the abuser as this could hurt them worse emotionally.

Let them lead the discussion. While it may be uppermost on your mind, it is likely the child would prefer to talk about anything but the abuse they endured. Let them have the freedom to lead the discussion in that direction if they choose to. It may be weeks, months or even years before they are fully able to discuss what happened and how it made them feel.

Alleviate guilt that it is their fault. One of the hardest things for a child to understand is that they are not the reason their parent was abusive. While it can be difficult, continually encourage them to see that they are not the reason for the abuse. Explain that some people have hidden problems and emotional pain that can come out as abuse. It is never the victims fault that they were or are abuse.

Dealing with children in an abuse situation can be very difficult. As an outsider, you may not be fully trusted by that child. Be patient and allow them to build trust with you. How to help child victims of domestic abuse is typically much more difficult than with adults. Their fragile emotions and inability to see their abuser from a logical perspective can make it ever difficult to cope with. Making sure you provide a safe environment and build trust is the first step toward helping them recover from the domestic abuse they endured.


  1. I was abused my husband for 12 years before having my son. I left him shortly after my son was born. However he was still part of our life. After I re-married he began abusing my son to get to me. It’s horrible what a child goes through. I tried to protect my son from it, but he saw and witnessed so much. These steps and tips are wonderful at bringing awareness to how others can help a child through something like this.

  2. These are great tips! My mom was in an abusive relationship for many years that we were subjected to as kids. To this day I remember scenes like it happened yesterday. Being a child who’s the victim of the abuse is so much more damaging!

    It’s hard to find the words sometimes and I really think that this post will help people find them.

  3. This is such a hard topic. My heart goes out to people in these situations.

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